Misogynistic Harassment While Taking Walks

I like to take more or less daily walks from my house to and along a trail that runs parallel to a river. The scenery certainly isn’t reminiscent of India or Tibet, but for Kansas it is pleasant… as long as I don’t look to my right at the junk yard. Since it is a walking meditation during which I mentally repeat metta phrases for most of the walk, the scenery doesn’t need to be breathtaking.

Normally, I have carried a long and sharp umbrella on these walks and kept my pepper spray in a pocket. For the past couple walks, however, I have chosen to carry the pepper spray in my hand. I have on occasion encountered on my walks males with whom I am not comfortable, but it seems to be happening more often lately. A couple days ago, coming from the opposite direction on the trail was a group of six teenage boys who, from several yards away, sounded like they were talking about me in an extremely misogynistic manner. If you’re female, you know that leering laughter and leering way of speaking. As they neared me, I kept the same deadpan facial expression and continued walking at the exact same pace. However, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my pepper spray. The bullies got quiet.

While I was on a sidewalk that leads to the river, I heard male voices behind me. I didn’t want to look scared by pretending not to hear them, so I turned around and looked behind me, where I saw two teenage males in the distance. I turned back around and continued walking, perhaps even started walking in a tougher manner than normal, while I overheard from behind me a phrase that was something along the lines of, “Fat butt whore!”

What a novelty: teenage cootie-carriers harassing me. Since moving to Creepville, Kansas, I’ve noticed that invariably if I am alone in public, and teenage boys unaccompanied by females or adults, see me, they harass me. It has on occasion made me wonder: do they think I’m about their age, or would they treat me the same way if they knew that I’m in my mid thirties?

More importantly, it has told me a lot about their upbringing and education. The unfathomably rampant hatred and bigotry that I have witnessed and experienced in Kansas is staggering. The sense of hatred is so strong that it permeates the air, creating creepy vibes as long as I’m in Topeka. This is one of many situations in which I think a major change in education would make a huge difference: people in Kansas, and indeed worldwide, need to be taught communication skills and compassion, from a secular point of view. As things stand, verbal abuse, bullying, and harassment are a normal part of every day in Kansas, I would even say every hour.

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Psaris, Jett, and Marlena S. Lyons. Undefended Love. New Harbinger Publications, Inc., Oakland, CA: 2000.

Rosenberg, Marshall. Nonviolent Communication: a Language of Life. Puddledancer Press, Encinitas, CA: 2003.